Panicking

I’m sitting here feeling a tightness rise in my chest, certain my heart is beating faster, while my fingers feel like they must type faster and faster, pounding into the keyboard like a storm running through it.

I’m panicking due to having so much creativity and wanting to put it all out in the world immediately.

It feels weird because I know there are people out there with writer’s block, people who can’t get inspired to make music, people who are too tired to stay out all night photographing the stars. If humans didn’t have to sleep, I’d be awake 24 hours a day making stuff. If I didn’t have to homeschool a kid, I’d be making stuff all day. All night. Non stop. And I still don’t think that would be enough.

I’m writing this because I have many plans in the works, but I need to get out this weekend to gather some photos and videos for a new YouTube project. So I need to just slow down a bit on that one.

I’m writing this because I’ve just come up with the names of my new YT channel, and my new ongoing fiction zine. I’ve done the basics of setting up the domain names, Etsy site, and YT channel. But I need to slow down and not create every single logo or write every single story, or edit every single video.

I’m writing this because I have a new album coming out tomorrow and I flat-out refuse to rely on social media to get streams for it. In fact, I refuse to rely on social media for any sort of work.

I’m writing this because if I start writing my new zine I won’t be able to stop, and I’ll be even more panicky thinking I need to finish it all in one night.

I’m writing this because writing irons out the scrambled mess in my head and makes it easier to understand.

I’m writing this to calm down.

And now? My fingers have slowed down. I’m running out of words to type. I’ve got my plan (I already wrote this by hand in my notebook) for all my things. And even though I wish there was some magical time vortex where I could create and publish every single idea I have right now, I know I need to slow down and do one thing at a time. Because I like to do things well. Lots of things, yes. But lots of good things.

Anyway, stay tuned for:

  • New music under my name, and also Flute Witch.
  • New Sonic Earth videos consisting of Earth’s natural ambience (rain, bird sounds etc).
  • More neurodivergent-related zines.
  • A new ongoing fiction zine.

Thanks for reading my rambles 🙂

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